I don’t go to school anymore.  But I still learn stuff.

Here’s what I found out today:

You can lose 10 bro points if you decide it is a good idea to try to merge onto the freeway at 50 mph while at the same time rummaging on the passenger floorboard for something super important.

I also found out that if you are driving behind the person who needs that thing off the floorboard at the exact moment of merging (i.e. “bropoint loser”), you should not panic and start yelling stuff and tailgating.  Floorboard Guy has no idea there is a problem other than some crazy guy yelling and tailgating.

If you do that, you also lose bropoints for losing your cool. 

And nobody likes a bro who loses his cool.

Here is a life lesson:

If you are having a two beer lunch at Fulton Pub and you pull your cup of chowder all the way to the edge of the table, DO NOT place the handle of your spoon towards yourself.  When you accidentally whack the handle of the spoon, you create a chowder catapult towards yourself.  You lose 5 bropoints for creating a chowder catapult.

If you can get the chowder to splash against the back of the booth and under the table and onto your shoes, that is a pretty cool chowder bankshot.  And therefore you earn 5 bropoints and thus cancel the 5 you lost for being an idiot.

Also- you earn 5 bropoints for leaving a good tip because of the chowder mess you made (and having a two beer lunch).

I lose 5 bro-points for the following:

- not go skiing with Adam and Damon

- sitting way back in the plane back by the bathroom where it smells

I earn 5 bropoints for the following:

- hitting Cascade express for the first time last week

- having better ski goggles and ski boots than Adam

- buying some new VANS at palm springs

- not working, so I don’t have to pay taxes

- eating really really good cheese bread

- having a week off of school for spring break

and btw - congratulations mutant……” and now presenting Mr and Mrs Mutante”

Maxen

I lose 5 bropoints for each of the following infractions.

1) Doing my taxes on Saturday night

2) Failing to figure out how to do my taxes online even though a 2nd grader should be able to do it

3) Failing to figure out how make a bro-points.com post on my own page

4) Having taxes in the first place

5) Sucking at the internet

6) Almost crying at Mutante’s wedding in Vegas

I win 5 bropoints each for:

1) Sucking it up and not crying at a wedding

2) Going to a wedding in Vegas

3) Having friends who get married in Vegas

4) At least trying to pay my taxes

5) Going skiing tomorrrow

I don’t think you can pre-award yourself bropoints but I feel like I should walk away from this weekend a net winner so I think it is okay this time. 

I hate trying to figure out the internet.

Not to blow my own horn, but I am a rather worldly person.  I have learned many many things through experience.  Allow me to share my latest learning from this weekend:

If you have a marshmallow gun you are storing on the floor of your house, do not also store the ammunition on the floor of your house.  Sugar ants like that kind of ammo.

You’re welcome.

PS- Maxen the gun in question is not your missing gun.  Mine is a Marshmallow Stryker as opposed to a Marshmallow Blaster.  Also- I got the camo version which is probably worth 10 bro points.

The Birth of  BroPoints: 

When Maxen (my son) was 6 years old, he suggested to both Adam and I (Damon) that we would be good at a game called “Bros”.  After both Adam and I looking at each other in confusion, we asked Maxen what that meant.  Maxen carefully articulated and said “you know, its a game where you lay around on the couch, watch TV, movies, sports and maybe drink some beer”.  Both Adam and I in partial shock, amazement and embarrassment then asked him how you win the game of “Bros”.  Maxen then replied, “by getting the most BroPoints”. 

This moment gave birth to the game of Bros and set forth Maxen, Adam and Damon on a journey to earn as many BroPoints as possible. www.bro-points.com is dedicated to understanding and chronicling this journey as well as giving you a glimpse into the amazing (and sometimes ridiculous) brains of both Maxen and Adam. 

What are you doing to earn your BroPoints?